Maybe that's why I love teaching first aid so much. I always get such nice comments at the end of the course. It feeds my seemingly fragile self-esteem.
I taught a Standard and Emergency course this week and this is a selection of the comments I got in the course evaluations:
- Loved the easy going personality, sure matched the class!
- Jane is an excellent instructor - knows her stuff & shows passion.
- Knows how to demonstrate and coach!
- Best first aid course I have taken.
- I feel confident in supplying first aid.
- She was very clear and very knowledgeable.
It makes my heart happy knowing I have found something that is both useful to people and I am good at. One guy yesterday said that my confidence made him feel confident. I hope it translates into confidence in a real situation.
I'm also pretty happy that I had a class of 16 linesmen (overhead and underground electrical workers) that initially showed me disrespect because I was a woman and because I laughed at it and rolled with it and them (also modifying my behaviour and language to match theirs to some extent - one cannot swear like a sailor in class, but you can match language so the people 'get' the message on their terms) and by the end of the first hour, then the rest of the day the next day they were fully engaged. Actually fully engaged - no resistance, no macho behaviour... they wanted to learn and do the practical exercises and book learning. It will never cease to amaze me how my excitement and passion can rub off on people. Not every class is roses and sunshine. I do have the odd class that I'd like to take a gun and peg them off one by one, but it is the rare exception rather than the rule.
So happy that I've finally found something that makes me happy and not miserable to earn a living.
28.4.11
26.4.11
The Head and Shoulders Shampoo
Equivalent is required for friends. I have flaky friends. Rather, acquaintances, I cannot say these people are friends.
You make plans and 9 times out of 10 people flake out and either say they double booked, have a migraine, just don't feel up to going out tonight, whatever the excuse is, they give it.
Fortunately, I do have actual friends. The kind one can rely on. 2 to be exact. So I'm grateful to have any.
It's difficult realising that most people just aren't that into me. You know, when a guy (or girl) just isn't into the other person. You have to see the situation for what it is and why s/he isn't calling/showing attention/etc... Well, I have a ton of people who squeal when I call (some literally) and are so desperate to catch up, we make plans, then they disappoint and say "oh!! I want to get together, let's make it next week", but this is a pattern that I've noted over months or years of knowing them and only 1 out of 10 planned meet-ups happen.
I have to take a step back, sigh, take a deep breath, look at them, our interactions and see that if they were that into me they'd also call me, try to make plans with me, or whatever. I'm not talking romantically being into me. Just as a person.
Humbling how little one actually means to people. I'm sure I'll have a very large turn out to my funeral, but before that... people are busy.
You make plans and 9 times out of 10 people flake out and either say they double booked, have a migraine, just don't feel up to going out tonight, whatever the excuse is, they give it.
Fortunately, I do have actual friends. The kind one can rely on. 2 to be exact. So I'm grateful to have any.
It's difficult realising that most people just aren't that into me. You know, when a guy (or girl) just isn't into the other person. You have to see the situation for what it is and why s/he isn't calling/showing attention/etc... Well, I have a ton of people who squeal when I call (some literally) and are so desperate to catch up, we make plans, then they disappoint and say "oh!! I want to get together, let's make it next week", but this is a pattern that I've noted over months or years of knowing them and only 1 out of 10 planned meet-ups happen.
I have to take a step back, sigh, take a deep breath, look at them, our interactions and see that if they were that into me they'd also call me, try to make plans with me, or whatever. I'm not talking romantically being into me. Just as a person.
Humbling how little one actually means to people. I'm sure I'll have a very large turn out to my funeral, but before that... people are busy.
24.4.11
The Mountain
I stumbled onto this photographer and it made my heart happy. I absolutely love the fact that the clouds look like waves and it makes me sigh with utter joy seeing the backbone of the universe pass before me as the earth spins. I am deeply in love with this earth and universe.
It popped to mind to share this, so perhaps one of the people who regularly visit me here may enjoy watching it. This, my friend, is for you... whomever you are.
Peace out.
It popped to mind to share this, so perhaps one of the people who regularly visit me here may enjoy watching it. This, my friend, is for you... whomever you are.
Peace out.
Lyrid Meteor Shower
Do you see any shooting stars? Don't worry, neither did I. It was overcast here and the moon was bright. Another chance, though, with a new moon on May 5 with the Eta Aquarids. Not the highest probability to make a wish, but there is a better chance to see a shooting star during a meteor shower than on any other night. In the northern hemisphere, we'll have the opportunity to see 10 an hour where in the southern hemisphere 30 per hour.
I wish I weren't such an early bird sometimes. I'd love to have been an astronomer.
I wish I weren't such an early bird sometimes. I'd love to have been an astronomer.
23.4.11
German Rye Bread - Recipe
Well, I had a bit of time before I volunteer this afternoon and was running short of the loaf I made earlier in the week so whipped together another batch of this recipe. All I can say is wow is it good.
German Rye Bread
1 2/3 c. water
2 1/2 tbs. sugar
2/3 tsp. salt
3 1/2 c. white flour
1/2 c. rye flour
1 tb. vital gluten
2 tsp. rapid rise yeast
Other than that, I throw in bits and bobs. Today it was a shake of unsalted sunflower seeds, a shake of wheat germ, a shake of ground flax, and another shake of cracked wheat. Nothing I ever make will ever taste like the former because I almost always improvise and throw in pinches/shakes of random things I think might taste good.
I set the bread maker on the dough cycle and watch it when it starts to whir. If there isn't enough liquid, I drip in a bit more water until it starts to whir. If I add too much, I might throw some raw bran in. I play baking and cooking by ear.
Once the dough cycle is complete, I punch the hell out of it and turn it into a loaf and either into the greased bread tin or throw it onto the pizza stone that is always in the oven. Let it rise for about an hour in the slightly warmed oven. Then I cook it until the bottom sounds hollow when tapped cooking it at about 425F (normally takes about 30 mins).
Yum. If you bake or like bread, give it a go. It's light and toasts wonderfully.
***
Earth shattering update (no, not really... but read on): after volunteering I went to a meat market that I've never been to but had their meat pies 27 years ago (I was a kid). I decided to pick up some pies and I saw they had a package of meat ends. I picked up the package ($0.99/100g) and it was filled with delectable delights. I had the best prosciutto and some sort of random smoked meat that I've ever consumed this morning on the toasted rye. Variety is the spice of life and I will have a spicy week ahead of me with all the random very, very tasty meats in this package. I wish this meat market wasn't on the other side of the city with petrol being this high or I'd be a regular.
I had 2 pies for dinner last night (beef and steak/kidney) and holy tomatoes are they good. I won't eat two pies at a sitting again, but oh my god were they orgasmic.
German Rye Bread
1 2/3 c. water
2 1/2 tbs. sugar
2/3 tsp. salt
3 1/2 c. white flour
1/2 c. rye flour
1 tb. vital gluten
2 tsp. rapid rise yeast
Other than that, I throw in bits and bobs. Today it was a shake of unsalted sunflower seeds, a shake of wheat germ, a shake of ground flax, and another shake of cracked wheat. Nothing I ever make will ever taste like the former because I almost always improvise and throw in pinches/shakes of random things I think might taste good.
I set the bread maker on the dough cycle and watch it when it starts to whir. If there isn't enough liquid, I drip in a bit more water until it starts to whir. If I add too much, I might throw some raw bran in. I play baking and cooking by ear.
Once the dough cycle is complete, I punch the hell out of it and turn it into a loaf and either into the greased bread tin or throw it onto the pizza stone that is always in the oven. Let it rise for about an hour in the slightly warmed oven. Then I cook it until the bottom sounds hollow when tapped cooking it at about 425F (normally takes about 30 mins).
Yum. If you bake or like bread, give it a go. It's light and toasts wonderfully.
***
Earth shattering update (no, not really... but read on): after volunteering I went to a meat market that I've never been to but had their meat pies 27 years ago (I was a kid). I decided to pick up some pies and I saw they had a package of meat ends. I picked up the package ($0.99/100g) and it was filled with delectable delights. I had the best prosciutto and some sort of random smoked meat that I've ever consumed this morning on the toasted rye. Variety is the spice of life and I will have a spicy week ahead of me with all the random very, very tasty meats in this package. I wish this meat market wasn't on the other side of the city with petrol being this high or I'd be a regular.
I had 2 pies for dinner last night (beef and steak/kidney) and holy tomatoes are they good. I won't eat two pies at a sitting again, but oh my god were they orgasmic.
21.4.11
Coldplay - Speed of Sound
How long before I get in?
Before it starts, before I begin?
How long before you decide?
Before I know what it feels like?
Where to? Where do I go?
If you never try, then you'll never know.
How long do I have to climb,
Up on the side of this mountain of mine?
Look up, I look up at night,
Planets are moving at the speed of light.
Climb up, up in the trees,
Every chance that you get,
Is a chance you seize.
How long am I gonna stand,
With my head stuck under the sand?
I'll start before I can stop,
Before I see things the right way up.
All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
To show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
If you could see it then you'd understand?
Ideas that you'll never find,
All the inventors could never design.
The buildings that you put up,
Japan and China all lit up.
The sign that I couldn't read,
Or a light that I couldn't see,
Some things you have to believe,
But others are puzzles, puzzling me.
All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
To show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
If you could see it then you'd understand,
Ah when you see it then you'll understand
All those signs, I knew what they meant.
Some things you can invent.
Some get made, and some get sent,
Ooh
Birds go flying at the speed of sound,
To show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
If you could see it then you'd understand,
Ah, when you see it then you'll understand
Before it starts, before I begin?
How long before you decide?
Before I know what it feels like?
Where to? Where do I go?
If you never try, then you'll never know.
How long do I have to climb,
Up on the side of this mountain of mine?
Look up, I look up at night,
Planets are moving at the speed of light.
Climb up, up in the trees,
Every chance that you get,
Is a chance you seize.
How long am I gonna stand,
With my head stuck under the sand?
I'll start before I can stop,
Before I see things the right way up.
All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
To show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
If you could see it then you'd understand?
Ideas that you'll never find,
All the inventors could never design.
The buildings that you put up,
Japan and China all lit up.
The sign that I couldn't read,
Or a light that I couldn't see,
Some things you have to believe,
But others are puzzles, puzzling me.
All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
To show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
If you could see it then you'd understand,
Ah when you see it then you'll understand
All those signs, I knew what they meant.
Some things you can invent.
Some get made, and some get sent,
Ooh
Birds go flying at the speed of sound,
To show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
If you could see it then you'd understand,
Ah, when you see it then you'll understand
20.4.11
Silent dating screams
I went out on a date and this is what I wanted to do. Scream.
I hate dating. I just want to find the right person.
Fortunately, it was in a loud bar/pub, so when he was talking, I simply hummed along to the pop songs being played. He didn't hear me humming and I amused myself. It was a win, win situation.
16.4.11
Elbert Hubbard - Quote
The best way to prepare for life is to begin to live.
— Elbert Hubbard
***
Am I the only one who is having difficulty adjusting to this plane of existence? I feel so out of place.
==> correction. I feel out of place with other humans. Being out hiking/skiing, watching the stars/sunrise, hanging out with animal friends... there isn't the same feeling of being out of place. It's just being with most humans.
— Elbert Hubbard
***
Am I the only one who is having difficulty adjusting to this plane of existence? I feel so out of place.
==> correction. I feel out of place with other humans. Being out hiking/skiing, watching the stars/sunrise, hanging out with animal friends... there isn't the same feeling of being out of place. It's just being with most humans.
14.4.11
Celibacy
Sucks. It has been over 4 years since I have had sex (monogamous long-distance relationship after living with the chap for over a year when we were in the same country) and although I could walk out and find someone who wants to stick their penis in any old hole, I want to wait for someone who is special.
Sigh.
Sigh.
13.4.11
How do I get out again?
The scenario:
Middle of the night, get up and go to what could be the side door of the ambulance if I were in an ambulance. Spend about 30-60 seconds fumbling around, feeling the wall, trying to find the door latch in the dark. Mind kicks in and tells me to try the back door, where my actual bedroom door is and where the back ambulance door would be. Get into the room next to my bedroom, still in the dark, half fuzzy walk like a zombie to the loo to void ye olde bladder.
Walking back, wondering where my brain was. Obviously in a mid-dream state.
Weird. Never had anything like that happen before. My brow is furrowed, lips pursed, and am half glad I'm single as to not have to explain to someone else how much of an idiot I am :D
Middle of the night, get up and go to what could be the side door of the ambulance if I were in an ambulance. Spend about 30-60 seconds fumbling around, feeling the wall, trying to find the door latch in the dark. Mind kicks in and tells me to try the back door, where my actual bedroom door is and where the back ambulance door would be. Get into the room next to my bedroom, still in the dark, half fuzzy walk like a zombie to the loo to void ye olde bladder.
Walking back, wondering where my brain was. Obviously in a mid-dream state.
Weird. Never had anything like that happen before. My brow is furrowed, lips pursed, and am half glad I'm single as to not have to explain to someone else how much of an idiot I am :D
12.4.11
So... tired
I can't explain how much I'm dragging my ass.
I just got back the peer qualification audit I did back in November for a manufacturing plant and I have to take care of business and pass this mofo to add it to my list of things I can do. Auditor? Check.
Did I mention how tired I am? :|
I just got back the peer qualification audit I did back in November for a manufacturing plant and I have to take care of business and pass this mofo to add it to my list of things I can do. Auditor? Check.
Did I mention how tired I am? :|
10.4.11
Practicum? Done.
Well, I am infinitely glad that it is over. A fantastic learning experience, lots of calls, sick people & traumatic injuries. I learned what a triple A looks like, what people with renal colic look like, how serious respiratory distress presents, what bagging feels like when there is immense resistance, how full body edema can cause difficulty breathing and how difficult it is working when it is obvious you are being watched and judged.
It wasn't until I stood up for myself and told my preceptors to back off that I was allowed to do what I do. I did one IV (successfully) on D1 T1 and they said that they didn't like how my hands were positioned, that when going down bumpy roads I could miss veins. It took me 5 working days of getting only 1-2 IVs patent using their method (and many, many unsuccessful ones) for me to say... look, I really need to just be left alone on this, I do know how to do IVs. They backed off and I just went to town, ditched their 'method' and only blew 4 out of 18 (and 2 of them the preceptors blew as well) with lots of them being done en route down bumpy roads.
My confidence was really hurt doing practicum. That's the truth. They picked on me and I didn't want to ruin the potential for positive working relationships (because I can be a right bitch) so I just internalised the negativity.
I passed. I'm done... but it did a number on me. It will take a while to get my confidence back. I do know now, however, that I really do enjoy this work and do wish to continue doing it. It's sad how cold and bitter the medics are. They have needed to endure years of taxi rides that seem to have erased the reason why they got into the field in the first place.
Tired. That's what I am.
The last call was a transfer from one hospital to another with a 21 year old with a ruptured eye due to an assault. I guess that's an interesting way to finish it of...
It wasn't until I stood up for myself and told my preceptors to back off that I was allowed to do what I do. I did one IV (successfully) on D1 T1 and they said that they didn't like how my hands were positioned, that when going down bumpy roads I could miss veins. It took me 5 working days of getting only 1-2 IVs patent using their method (and many, many unsuccessful ones) for me to say... look, I really need to just be left alone on this, I do know how to do IVs. They backed off and I just went to town, ditched their 'method' and only blew 4 out of 18 (and 2 of them the preceptors blew as well) with lots of them being done en route down bumpy roads.
My confidence was really hurt doing practicum. That's the truth. They picked on me and I didn't want to ruin the potential for positive working relationships (because I can be a right bitch) so I just internalised the negativity.
I passed. I'm done... but it did a number on me. It will take a while to get my confidence back. I do know now, however, that I really do enjoy this work and do wish to continue doing it. It's sad how cold and bitter the medics are. They have needed to endure years of taxi rides that seem to have erased the reason why they got into the field in the first place.
Tired. That's what I am.
The last call was a transfer from one hospital to another with a 21 year old with a ruptured eye due to an assault. I guess that's an interesting way to finish it of...
6.4.11
2.4.11
Would you like pepper to go with your assault?
The trend of this tour was assaults. End of the month means free money for the people of the hood. What do people in the hood like to do with free money? Drugs and alcohol, that's what. There were 4 assaults last night alone, peppered amongst syncopal episode calls.
We just got a new unit, new design, new frustration/headache. So, the shit show call for this tour happened at 02:55 this morning. If there is a pattern in the tours, there is one shit show call and the rest are manageable. The patient had been beaten quite badly. By quite badly, I mean he only had one tooth left and it was at a funky angle, obvious internal abdominal bleeding (abdo distended and rigid), melon sized bruising on his chest (nipple line midline and on the R side) which was one of the contributing factors for a wonky ECG.
The police officer who rode in the back finally took his leather gloves off and picked up medical gloves to help out. I've not changed gloves quite as much as with this guy. He was slimy for some reason and blood everywhere. I threw an 18G in his R hand (huge veins) and he was combative, understandably with that kind of head injury and being strapped to a backboard with a collar on.
I don't know what fucking crackhead developed this new ambulance but they were obviously on crack and have never worked in the field. It had literally one of my feet between the stretcher (with my calves touching the stretcher) and the cabinets. I had to lean backwards, arching my back to get into the cabinets. The patients, cops and firefighters who were in the unit yesterday had to hunch because the roof is literally about 0.5" above my head (I'm 5'6"). I'm disgusted with whoever decided the unit was a good idea.
There is no room, the cabinets are poorly laid out... the list goes on. V. v. v. unhappy about it and I'll write a letter because I'm so ticked.
Anyway, this tour has been about tightening skills. My preceptor said I have already passed (she said D1 T3) so I'm just trying to relax and get things in order. I patched to the hospital twice yesterday and didn't do a bad job. Trauma is easy... it's the old lady/gent with a long list of medications, treatments, convoluted HxC/C, PMHx, etc that makes it challenging to remember it all plus vitals and time.
It'll come together at some point. Just hope it's sooner rather than later.
We just got a new unit, new design, new frustration/headache. So, the shit show call for this tour happened at 02:55 this morning. If there is a pattern in the tours, there is one shit show call and the rest are manageable. The patient had been beaten quite badly. By quite badly, I mean he only had one tooth left and it was at a funky angle, obvious internal abdominal bleeding (abdo distended and rigid), melon sized bruising on his chest (nipple line midline and on the R side) which was one of the contributing factors for a wonky ECG.
The police officer who rode in the back finally took his leather gloves off and picked up medical gloves to help out. I've not changed gloves quite as much as with this guy. He was slimy for some reason and blood everywhere. I threw an 18G in his R hand (huge veins) and he was combative, understandably with that kind of head injury and being strapped to a backboard with a collar on.
I don't know what fucking crackhead developed this new ambulance but they were obviously on crack and have never worked in the field. It had literally one of my feet between the stretcher (with my calves touching the stretcher) and the cabinets. I had to lean backwards, arching my back to get into the cabinets. The patients, cops and firefighters who were in the unit yesterday had to hunch because the roof is literally about 0.5" above my head (I'm 5'6"). I'm disgusted with whoever decided the unit was a good idea.
There is no room, the cabinets are poorly laid out... the list goes on. V. v. v. unhappy about it and I'll write a letter because I'm so ticked.
Anyway, this tour has been about tightening skills. My preceptor said I have already passed (she said D1 T3) so I'm just trying to relax and get things in order. I patched to the hospital twice yesterday and didn't do a bad job. Trauma is easy... it's the old lady/gent with a long list of medications, treatments, convoluted HxC/C, PMHx, etc that makes it challenging to remember it all plus vitals and time.
It'll come together at some point. Just hope it's sooner rather than later.
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