Taxi rides into the white light

This tour has been a whirl wind ride. Amazing to look back at it and re-live each call.

I would say that the tour could safely be divided into 3 categories: the bat-shit crazy, the taxi riders and the genuinely ill.

D1 T2:
The tour began with a self-inflicted abdominal 'stab' wound (a very lame/weird attempt to demonstrate his love for his 21 y/o girlfriend) and the first time an officer rode in the back of the unit with us. Much rolling of eyes over the displayed virulence and dramatics. 2 medical emergencies (one of whom is not long for this world due to a failing renal system), 1 taxi ride.

D2 T2:
Respiratory distress that coded in front of me. CPR, intubation, fucking shit show in the back of the unit. I am trying to understand why the Lifepack that worked without a problem, self tested at 03:00 and re-checked by me at 05:00 (and worked without a glitch the previous tour) suddenly died and was useless despite full batteries. Everything that could go wrong, did. Her anatomy disallowed 2 attempts at intubation, the third successful, etc etc. She was very ill, 75, a laundry list of ailments. It was a bit of a shell shock that I had actually performed CPR on a real person as opposed to a dummy, that she had died (called at the hospital shortly after getting into the code room) and all the events before getting to the hospital in the back of the truck and the way in which I found her. 4 medics (had to call in backup for a new Lifepack), myself, a family member in the front seat looking on, and the dying.

I will be honest. At one point when I was doing CPR, I felt someone else in the unit. It was a girl, between 8-10 years old. I did not see her, I felt her. She stood between the medics looking at the old lady, with mucus covering her upper lip, eyes open but vacant, blood coming up the EI tube, drugs being pushed, analyses being done, the ambulance bouncing down the road lights and sirens, but there she was... and then wasn't.

At the gym later I was on the treadmill when the Bat for Lashes song randomly played. Tears began to well. The woman's death had affected me but I didn't realise it at the time. It wasn't my death or anyone I knew. I took care of her to the best of my ability but she still died. I am actually ok with that, but it was still the first time I'd seen anyone die.

As I have been working through what happened on that call, I am coming to believe that there actually may be a destined point/time to die (I wasn't sure about it before. I also don't think people committing suicide falls into this category, can't explain why but it doesn't feel like it does). I cannot fathom why everything went so very pear shaped and the Lifepack packing it in (then working perfectly fine after - we've switched it out for a different unit just to be sure, but it worked just fine for the remainder of the day before the switch over).

The only other call that day was a taxi ride for person who had gout. Yes, you read that right. Taxi anyone?

The two night shifts were filled with the crazy, sick and taxi rides.

It's a strange business being an EMT student.