Who would you run after?

I was given the advice by a lady, then again I read it in a publication within 24 hours of one another. The description was slightly different but the gist was the same.

'Don't run after a bus or a man, another one will come along soon'

I discounted the lady because she seemed the type to be gruff leaning towards bitterness. The second time I read the words, I found myself with a furrowed brow. I want to believe this glib statement, but after thinking about it... I can't. I don't know about you, but I'm quirky and picky. If I find someone who is a big spoon to my little spoon, who makes me laugh, smells nice, doesn't eat with their mouth open, is intelligent, spiritually seeking, doesn't have habits that could ruin them or you (i.e., a friend of mine has a husband with a gambling problem that has utterly ruined them... he's a lovely man and she loves him dearly, but after years of working on the relationship, forgiving, forking over money and losing houses, she's finally asked for a divorce - after seeing her struggle, I am aware of how destructive certain habits/addictions can be), I don't want to let them go on a whim.

I'm not talking about stalking. If the person says 'see, ya' (and it has happened in 2 of my 3 major relationships), I don't stalk them... I deal with the personal fall out of feeling like shite. What I'm saying is that I believe in trying to work out problems. Or I did.

I don't know what I believe in now. As I type, I thought I would be with my last guy forever and I would have walked over anything to get to him. It was an odd relationship, an odd match, an odd coming together, a rocky start, but once together in a real way, I never wanted to let it go. Circumstances, however, dictated differently. An ocean suddenly separated us, no money for either of us to travel back and forth, his grown children, and time (a little over 3 years) suddenly became factors.

It wasn't mean on his part to say "you're better off without me, go find someone else", it was just heart wrenching. I'm misting at the eyes as I type. I don't really want to find someone else, but I'm glad I don't have to deal with his indecision and quirks... but I don't want other quirks and other foibles to deal with. I'm 39 this month and am rather enjoying the quiet bedroom sans snoring and a full bed to toss and turn with covers at my disposal.

Thinking about it, I guess I don't run after the men who leave, but I'm not holding my breath that another suitable person will come along. We don't choose who we fall for, however, so maybe I should just be quiet. No one knows what the future holds.

And the gentleman whom I identified as Han this weekend sent an email asking if I'd like to go out (the crazy other little guy who was hitting on me and every other woman also asked me out, but I'll disregard him). He is nice, but I know he is a Christian... which doesn't jive with me. So, do I go through the time, effort and energy to get closer to someone who isn't what I would consider 'right'? I like him as a person and would love to have him as a friend. Do I just say that so there aren't mismatched expectations and go from there? Why are there ever only questions with very few clear answers?