Practicum? Done.

Well, I am infinitely glad that it is over. A fantastic learning experience, lots of calls, sick people & traumatic injuries. I learned what a triple A looks like, what people with renal colic look like, how serious respiratory distress presents, what bagging feels like when there is immense resistance, how full body edema can cause difficulty breathing and how difficult it is working when it is obvious you are being watched and judged.

It wasn't until I stood up for myself and told my preceptors to back off that I was allowed to do what I do. I did one IV (successfully) on D1 T1 and they said that they didn't like how my hands were positioned, that when going down bumpy roads I could miss veins. It took me 5 working days of getting only 1-2 IVs patent using their method (and many, many unsuccessful ones) for me to say... look, I really need to just be left alone on this, I do know how to do IVs. They backed off and I just went to town, ditched their 'method' and only blew 4 out of 18 (and 2 of them the preceptors blew as well) with lots of them being done en route down bumpy roads.

My confidence was really hurt doing practicum. That's the truth. They picked on me and I didn't want to ruin the potential for positive working relationships (because I can be a right bitch) so I just internalised the negativity.

I passed. I'm done... but it did a number on me. It will take a while to get my confidence back. I do know now, however, that I really do enjoy this work and do wish to continue doing it. It's sad how cold and bitter the medics are. They have needed to endure years of taxi rides that seem to have erased the reason why they got into the field in the first place.

Tired. That's what I am.

The last call was a transfer from one hospital to another with a 21 year old with a ruptured eye due to an assault. I guess that's an interesting way to finish it of...