30.11.10
28.11.10
Exhausted
Today I got poked once in each butt cheek, once in each tricep and one big IV poke in the back of the hand. My hand hurts and they went through the vein. In fact, it's numb. Fortunately for me, I was told that the peripheral nerves grow back a mm a day so it should be fine at some point. I only got one poke and was successful at the IV with both flash and a patent opening. I'm happy with that.
Also scooped people, did EKGs, learned about intubation (I can't do that as an EMT, but you still need to learn about it in case you work for an ALS service), I splinted, took helmets off, did a standing take down, and loaded a stretcher that was 160lbs (I have to load a 300lb stretcher by the end of the program or I fail).
I have a hematoma on my hand. :(
Also scooped people, did EKGs, learned about intubation (I can't do that as an EMT, but you still need to learn about it in case you work for an ALS service), I splinted, took helmets off, did a standing take down, and loaded a stretcher that was 160lbs (I have to load a 300lb stretcher by the end of the program or I fail).
I have a hematoma on my hand. :(
27.11.10
Do you think...
It's ok for a Catholic to pray for a Jew?
How is one to answer this sort of question?
In reality it came from the guy who sits to my left (to my right is a window) who doesn't speak to anyone and doodles the entire class (colour me excited to know that he is part of my "skills day" group where I will be flashing my chest (with a sports bra) to put on a 12 lead EKG and also flashing my butt for an IM injection lesson on how to inject people's butts (glutes).
I told him it was ok for Catholics to pray for Jews. I said that it didn't matter what religion you are, you can send positive vibes to anyone you want.
Then he asked me when Hanukkah was so I diligently looked it up on my blackberry. It's next week and he's now a bit stressed as he doesn't have a gift. I told him to buy a dredle (sp?) and the Jew would be impressed (if they're not secular only).
But then again... who gives a flying squirrel. It's not like this guy will ever speak to me again. I get better reception from the window.
How is one to answer this sort of question?
In reality it came from the guy who sits to my left (to my right is a window) who doesn't speak to anyone and doodles the entire class (colour me excited to know that he is part of my "skills day" group where I will be flashing my chest (with a sports bra) to put on a 12 lead EKG and also flashing my butt for an IM injection lesson on how to inject people's butts (glutes).
I told him it was ok for Catholics to pray for Jews. I said that it didn't matter what religion you are, you can send positive vibes to anyone you want.
Then he asked me when Hanukkah was so I diligently looked it up on my blackberry. It's next week and he's now a bit stressed as he doesn't have a gift. I told him to buy a dredle (sp?) and the Jew would be impressed (if they're not secular only).
But then again... who gives a flying squirrel. It's not like this guy will ever speak to me again. I get better reception from the window.
20.11.10
No, no, no
P, you don't get to just pop in and out of my life on a whim. In or out. Your choice, but make it and stick with it.
9.11.10
Weaknesses and light
I have been an expert at identifying weaknesses for quite some time. Being a critical individual both internally and externally has not necessarily won friends and influenced people. Suddenly, however, I have discovered a way to use this 'talent' for both my and other's benefit. I began doing my 'peer qualification' health and safety audit and suddenly, I can use this critical eye for the good.
When I worked at a candle factory in quality control, they quickly learned that I will reject anything that is obviously imperfect or does not meet my standard. There were piles of candles that were imperfect - mainly because it was a group of people who really didn't know how to make mass candles in production. Good for me, I and others could take them home, but bad for business. I was taken off quality control due to my internal stringent requirements. The company folded shortly thereafter and I went to work for another candle company as different to the love-in I'd just left as day is to the night. The second candle company was run by business women, no scent to the candles, no love in the air. The only things that hung in the air were the chemicals that created the effects on the candles (crystals, matte, etc).
I languished in that second factory job and looking back I can see something very important. The first candle factory was entirely imperfect, from their business sense to the candles they created. The candles, themselves, beyond having a wick that had floated from the centre or being rough around the edges (I literally took an exacto knife and scrapped away the rough edges before sending some of the candles) were fragrant and they were made out of love (from the R&D to packaging/shipping). The group of workers were a rag tag team of misfits but it was wonderful to work there. The second factory was pristine, tight, picture perfect and entirely cold. The intention was to make money and that flowed from the wages, the cheap and powerful but effective nasty chemicals they used to create an effect, to the prices of the candles. The people who worked there were, I would say, oppressed. Needless to say, I didn't last long and it was likely this job that pushed me into the Korean chapter.
I make my own candles now, by the way. They are cheaper than store bought and made from love. They may all be rejects because I don't *really* know what I'm doing, but they burn just fine and the light is what matters.
Really, I think I'm learning that the critical eye is helpful but it is also important to see things as they are and for what they are. In auditing, it can uncover weaknesses, but it isn't to harm. Auditing should not be scary. It's intense and it gives me a headache doing it, but it is to improve a system (assuming the audit tool is effective and relevant). I pointed out yesterday that they did not have an effective Emergency Response Plan despite working less than a mile away from a plant that could blow up or let off very nasty gas which would result in simply a call and instructions on which way to drive to get clear of the hazard. Why didn't they include a response to a compressed gas cylinder becoming a missile considering they did welding on site? That isn't to tisk tisk them... it is to point out something that no one had ever considered to be a problem.
Playing the what if game and picking things apart is a speciality of mine. Someone ought to benefit from it, and seemingly I have found a way for that to happen unbeknownst to me. It is quite fascinating how all this works together and I am looking forward to being able to see the bird's eye view and hope I can try to do all the things I need to to use the talents I have for the best.
There is perfection in imperfection. It is a mantra that actually seems to be true.
When I worked at a candle factory in quality control, they quickly learned that I will reject anything that is obviously imperfect or does not meet my standard. There were piles of candles that were imperfect - mainly because it was a group of people who really didn't know how to make mass candles in production. Good for me, I and others could take them home, but bad for business. I was taken off quality control due to my internal stringent requirements. The company folded shortly thereafter and I went to work for another candle company as different to the love-in I'd just left as day is to the night. The second candle company was run by business women, no scent to the candles, no love in the air. The only things that hung in the air were the chemicals that created the effects on the candles (crystals, matte, etc).
I languished in that second factory job and looking back I can see something very important. The first candle factory was entirely imperfect, from their business sense to the candles they created. The candles, themselves, beyond having a wick that had floated from the centre or being rough around the edges (I literally took an exacto knife and scrapped away the rough edges before sending some of the candles) were fragrant and they were made out of love (from the R&D to packaging/shipping). The group of workers were a rag tag team of misfits but it was wonderful to work there. The second factory was pristine, tight, picture perfect and entirely cold. The intention was to make money and that flowed from the wages, the cheap and powerful but effective nasty chemicals they used to create an effect, to the prices of the candles. The people who worked there were, I would say, oppressed. Needless to say, I didn't last long and it was likely this job that pushed me into the Korean chapter.
I make my own candles now, by the way. They are cheaper than store bought and made from love. They may all be rejects because I don't *really* know what I'm doing, but they burn just fine and the light is what matters.
Really, I think I'm learning that the critical eye is helpful but it is also important to see things as they are and for what they are. In auditing, it can uncover weaknesses, but it isn't to harm. Auditing should not be scary. It's intense and it gives me a headache doing it, but it is to improve a system (assuming the audit tool is effective and relevant). I pointed out yesterday that they did not have an effective Emergency Response Plan despite working less than a mile away from a plant that could blow up or let off very nasty gas which would result in simply a call and instructions on which way to drive to get clear of the hazard. Why didn't they include a response to a compressed gas cylinder becoming a missile considering they did welding on site? That isn't to tisk tisk them... it is to point out something that no one had ever considered to be a problem.
Playing the what if game and picking things apart is a speciality of mine. Someone ought to benefit from it, and seemingly I have found a way for that to happen unbeknownst to me. It is quite fascinating how all this works together and I am looking forward to being able to see the bird's eye view and hope I can try to do all the things I need to to use the talents I have for the best.
There is perfection in imperfection. It is a mantra that actually seems to be true.
6.11.10
Turning tides
P is gone forever. Started an EMT, building the business, feeling alone yet being told I'm not alone. Happy but sad. Life is so incredibly full but such a large hole still exists. Not knowing where S is. Wondering how to make it all work and treading water.
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