Not a word in the sky

Committed myself to a mortgage.  Still alone.  Still loving my pup.

Fuck me with a hat on

Well, it's been quite a ride.

I worked an ALS shift and tended to this 19 year old kid who was a victim of a hit and run fucktard.  Had the RCMP not found him in a random patrol he'd be dead.  Then a massive fire that forced me to learn how to do a firefighter assessment.

Amazing.  I'm off car for a month, but am being thrown on car for these amazing experiences.

There is so much more, but it's hard to find a reason to share with those who do not share with me.

Happy dead Mother's Day

So very glad my mother is dead.

How cold and calloused, hey?

If you think so, you were not there for the mental and physical abuse.

Fuck it

I booked 7 days in a 5* all inclusive resort leaving on Sunday

I had another nightmare and it's time for that to stop.

We'll see if snorkelling and zip lining above the jungle canopy don't do the trick...

That and 'free' booze...

Are you really dead?

So, I was called on the day the flight lessons were supposed to start and told that every other person in the class had dropped out and I was the only person left. :( They offered to put me into their September intake but I'll be doing the paramedic program then. Double :(

In this past month a lot has happened. The biggest to my psyche was being sent to a DOA which happened not to be as cut and dry as dispatch and the caller made it out to be. He was still warm and had only been down for about 20 minutes.

The day after that call I had a dream whereby a woman had been declared dead and woke up in a morgue... not quite dead... just told she was dead. Then last night I had a dream I was responding to a call and told that the man inside the place was dead, but when I got there he wasn't. This non-DOA is eating away at me.

The man had been battling cancer for 4 years and given 6 months to live September 2012 so this wasn't unexpected to him or his wife, but it was a first for me. Obvious death in my world (EMT school) is rigour mortis, dependent lividity, decapitation, etc. He was none of those.

A couple of weeks ago I was told that either I take my 'named holiday' days or I get paid out so I took this next tour off. Looking online I can see that I could go to Cuba or Mexico all inclusive for about $1000-1200 for a week. I'd need to leave on Sunday.

I am so tired.